As you may remember, Nikki recently supplemented my inner editing skills with input from some of the folks over at OWW. I was initially . . . less than thrilled about this, but I've made my peace with it now.
Especially since they caught something important which I missed.
Yes, I was wrong again. This is happening with disturbing frequency.
I suppose I should first mention that the Muse is a bit rambly when starting out a new story. Between her love of every character that she pops into Nikki's head and Nikki's pantser writing style, the first few chapters of any project crossing my desk invariably have to go. Familiar was no different.
It may come a shock to those of you who have had the pleasure of reading the beginning of Familiar, but in the initial draft, Natasha spent three months just waiting for the action to start and hanging out with Billy. I think the Muse originally had bigger plans for Billy, but Nikki hated him and so he had to die instead. There were a few cute scenes there, but nothing was happening beyond developing a character who turned out to be completely irrelevant to the plot. So, when I took over, I had Nikki cut all that out and compress the timeline.
It would appear that I cut a bit too much. Two different reviewers from OWW asked questions which, after really thinking about where their understanding had gotten lost, indicated neither one of them believed Natasha would go to the bar with Billy. And they really didn't believe the rest of the litter would just let her. And they're right. Without three months of flirting away with a rather harmless version of Billy -- especially with those three months of buildup being replaced with a random meeting on the street -- it just doesn't make sense for her to go in there with her guard down.
Oops. In cutting out those opening scenes, we seem to have lost our main character's motivation for going to the place where the story's action begins. And she has to be there. She can't just miss the inciting incident.
So Nikki and I are going back to the drawing board this week. We can't put the original motivations back in. Three months of nothing to justify one date still doesn't seem like a good idea to me. Instead, we're enlisting the Muse's help and writing a new scene to bridge the gap. Hopefully the new scene will make things a little clearer. It might even help clean up some of the exposition in the bar scene, because I've never really liked having that in there anyway.
From My Bookshelf to Yours: February Winner!
The comments for all the February From My Bookshelf to Yours posts were closed last night and the random number generator has selected a winner.
Congratulations to Jackie B, who wins a copy of Kalayna Price's Twice Dead!
Jackie, please email me at nlberger(at)nlberger(dot)com with your mailing address so I can drop your book in the mail.
Congratulations to Jackie B, who wins a copy of Kalayna Price's Twice Dead!
Jackie, please email me at nlberger(at)nlberger(dot)com with your mailing address so I can drop your book in the mail.
Be Intriguing, Not Confusing
There's a fine line, when writing the beginning scenes of a novel, between leaving the reader wanting more and leaving the reader totally confused. I'm still learning to walk it.
Back in the day, you could start out a novel with three or four chapters of worldbuilding, setting up your main characters in their ordinary, everyday lives before the inciting incident came along and turned those lives upside down. I think I've mentioned on this blog before that I was taught in elementary school to read at least the first fifty pages of any book before deciding if I liked it or not, because the beginning was almost always back story and set up. I'm not that old; elementary school wasn't that long ago.
Can you imagine trying to sell a novel like that today?
Authors are expected to grab the reader's attention within the first five pages. Actually, within the first page if possible. And it's recommended not to have any back story at all in the first fifty pages if you can swing it.
Action rules the opening pages these days. Dead bodies show up on page one. The lovers meet, and maybe even get around a few bases, by the end of the first chapter. Vampires/Werewolves/Zombies/Insert-other-random-horror/fantasy-creature-here turn up in the middle of the first exchange of dialogue. Sky pirates attack without warning.
High action openings like this are good in some ways. If the reader has met and likes our lovers, and their first romantic moments together have just been interrupted by an ex, or the heroine's father, or the boss, or the hero's finance, they've just got to keep turning pages to find out how those two crazy kids end up together.
If our plucky but naïve heroine ducks into the bathroom at a party, only to find a dead guy in a Goofy mask propped up on the toilet in the handicapped stall, the reader is probably going to want to know more about how she's going to handle that. And maybe why he was wearing a Goofy mask.
Turning pages is good. Wanting to know more is good. Those are the kinds of questions that sell books.
Still, you have to give your reader enough information to ground that action. Sky pirates are attacking! Is this normal? Do people in this world routinely get attacked by sky pirates? Is the main character in league with the sky pirates? Have they had a recent falling out? Or are they ancient enemies? And just what are sky pirates anyway?
If they're left wondering why all of this is happening, or thinking something along the lines of "why the hell would he do that?" or "why doesn't she just go to the police?" or "what was the writer smoking when they wrote this?" they may stop turning pages. They may put your book back on the shelf and go off in search of one that makes more sense.
For me, of course, as an author still trying to break into publishing, I have a long while before I need to worry about bookstore browsers flipping through the first pages of my books. But I'm pretty sure that leaving an agent or editor wondering what the heck is going on is a one-way ticket to Rejectionville, and that certainly isn't going to get me any closer to the browsing public.
Back in the day, you could start out a novel with three or four chapters of worldbuilding, setting up your main characters in their ordinary, everyday lives before the inciting incident came along and turned those lives upside down. I think I've mentioned on this blog before that I was taught in elementary school to read at least the first fifty pages of any book before deciding if I liked it or not, because the beginning was almost always back story and set up. I'm not that old; elementary school wasn't that long ago.
Can you imagine trying to sell a novel like that today?
Authors are expected to grab the reader's attention within the first five pages. Actually, within the first page if possible. And it's recommended not to have any back story at all in the first fifty pages if you can swing it.
Action rules the opening pages these days. Dead bodies show up on page one. The lovers meet, and maybe even get around a few bases, by the end of the first chapter. Vampires/Werewolves/Zombies/Insert-other-random-horror/fantasy-creature-here turn up in the middle of the first exchange of dialogue. Sky pirates attack without warning.
High action openings like this are good in some ways. If the reader has met and likes our lovers, and their first romantic moments together have just been interrupted by an ex, or the heroine's father, or the boss, or the hero's finance, they've just got to keep turning pages to find out how those two crazy kids end up together.
If our plucky but naïve heroine ducks into the bathroom at a party, only to find a dead guy in a Goofy mask propped up on the toilet in the handicapped stall, the reader is probably going to want to know more about how she's going to handle that. And maybe why he was wearing a Goofy mask.
Turning pages is good. Wanting to know more is good. Those are the kinds of questions that sell books.
Still, you have to give your reader enough information to ground that action. Sky pirates are attacking! Is this normal? Do people in this world routinely get attacked by sky pirates? Is the main character in league with the sky pirates? Have they had a recent falling out? Or are they ancient enemies? And just what are sky pirates anyway?
If they're left wondering why all of this is happening, or thinking something along the lines of "why the hell would he do that?" or "why doesn't she just go to the police?" or "what was the writer smoking when they wrote this?" they may stop turning pages. They may put your book back on the shelf and go off in search of one that makes more sense.
For me, of course, as an author still trying to break into publishing, I have a long while before I need to worry about bookstore browsers flipping through the first pages of my books. But I'm pretty sure that leaving an agent or editor wondering what the heck is going on is a one-way ticket to Rejectionville, and that certainly isn't going to get me any closer to the browsing public.
Girl Talk Thursday: Evil Should Always Be Sexy
This week's topic: In a world without consequences, what kinky thing/fantasy would you try?
Character Participating: Natasha, from Familiar, a 294-year-old witch's familiar who spends her days slipping backward and forward through time, protecting newly-turned witches from demons, and shape-shifting into a tortoiseshell kitten. Yes, a kitten. You have a problem with that?
Okay, this is tricky for me. I've been dead for 276 years and I move around a lot. I don't usually stay in the same place and time for more than six months or so and I never go back. So a world without consequences -- at least, the kind of consequences I think you're getting at -- is kind of my life. Kinky things can't really do me much damage physically and I'm not worried about what anyone will think of me in the morning, because they'll never see me again.
There are those who would argue that this lifestyle could turn one into something of a . . . free spirit, could bring out one's wilder side. And on some level, I'm pretty sure that's true. I mean, I am the girl who recently had sex with one guy in a stairwell and then made out with another on his grandmother's sofa the next afternoon. Admittedly, there were drugs and supernatural forces at work there, but still . . .
Of course, my life isn't totally free of consequences. I mean, I fight demons to keep them from eating people and using their magic to take over the world. As consequences go, they don't get much weightier than the epic battle of good versus evil and the kill-or-be-killed mentality.
And, you know, now that I've brought them up, some of those demons are kinda hot. It's probably the whole forbidden fruit thing, or the inherent bad-boy thing that demons have going on. Or the fact that most of them can glamour themselves into looking however they want whenever they want. I mean, really, that's gotta be a handy skill to have. Just think of the possibilities . . .
Okay, maybe don't think about them too much.
Yeah, I'm probably going to regret saying this later -- and the boys in my litter will likely never let me live it down -- but really, I think I could stand to spend some good quality time with a few of my immortal enemies.
I'd still have to kill them in the morning, of course, before they kill me or one of my witches, but sometimes I wonder . . .
DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed in this blog post reflect those of the character in Nikki's mind, and are not necessarily those of the author herself. Be that as it may, demons, when properly glamoured, are kinda sexy.
From My Bookshelf To Yours: March 2010, Week 1
This Week's Book: Shift, by Rachel Vincent
What I liked: Um . . . Jace. I just have to get that out of the way right at the beginning, because I adore Jace. I've been on Team Jace since his introduction scene in Stray and he's just gotten so much better since then. Of course, I'm not really wanting him to end up with Faythe. In my fantasy world, Faythe sometimes wanders off to the side and a new character named Nikki becomes Jace's love interest . . .
*Ahem*
Fangirlishness aside, I loved many, many things this book. I love the characters Rachel Vincent has created for the Shifters series and while I can't wait for the next book to come out, I'll be a little sad when it does as Alpha is slated to be the last book in the series. (Admittedly, I feel like if I actually knew Faythe, I'd probably spend most of my time resisting the urge to smack some sense into her. Still, sometimes those are the characters you love the most.) Also, the story in this one just forces you to keep turning pages. I could not put it down. Literally. I'd tell myself I'd just read one more chapter and the next thing I knew, I'd finished the book and it was five o'clock in the morning. Pulling an all-nighter these days isn't a very common occurrence for me.
Want to win this book? Leave a comment on this post. Each commenter (excluding spammers, anonymous posters, or abusive commenters) will be entered into my monthly drawing. You have until midnight (Eastern) on the fifth of next month to enter. Open to US residents only. For more details, click here.
And don't forget -- February's books are still up for grabs! You have until March 5th to enter a comment for a chance to win 6 Killer Bodies, by Stephanie Bond, Covet, by J.R. Ward, or Twice Dead, by Kalayna Price! February contest is now closed.
TROUBLE IS IN THE AIR . . .
Being the first female werecat enforcer isn't easy. Scars accumulate, but I'm stronger in so many ways.
As for my personal life? It's complicated. Choices worth making always are. Ever since my brother's death and my father's impeachment, it's all I can do to prevent more blood from spilling. Now our Pride is under attack by a flight of vicious thunderbirds. And making peace with our new enemies may be the only way to get the best of our old foe.
With the body count rising and treachery everywhere, my instincts tell me to look before I leap. But sometimes a leap of faith is the only real option . . .
What I liked: Um . . . Jace. I just have to get that out of the way right at the beginning, because I adore Jace. I've been on Team Jace since his introduction scene in Stray and he's just gotten so much better since then. Of course, I'm not really wanting him to end up with Faythe. In my fantasy world, Faythe sometimes wanders off to the side and a new character named Nikki becomes Jace's love interest . . .
*Ahem*
Fangirlishness aside, I loved many, many things this book. I love the characters Rachel Vincent has created for the Shifters series and while I can't wait for the next book to come out, I'll be a little sad when it does as Alpha is slated to be the last book in the series. (Admittedly, I feel like if I actually knew Faythe, I'd probably spend most of my time resisting the urge to smack some sense into her. Still, sometimes those are the characters you love the most.) Also, the story in this one just forces you to keep turning pages. I could not put it down. Literally. I'd tell myself I'd just read one more chapter and the next thing I knew, I'd finished the book and it was five o'clock in the morning. Pulling an all-nighter these days isn't a very common occurrence for me.
Want to win this book? Leave a comment on this post. Each commenter (excluding spammers, anonymous posters, or abusive commenters) will be entered into my monthly drawing. You have until midnight (Eastern) on the fifth of next month to enter. Open to US residents only. For more details, click here.
Some News, and a New Kind of Deadline
A few months ago, I mentioned on this blog that I'd had something of a family emergency and that things might get a little sporadic around here for a while because of it. I was right about that. Sporadic, in fact, seems like a very generous description of my recent blogging habits. I do apologize, but blogging really took a back seat in light of lots of other stuff.
Here's the thing: I'm having a baby!
I know, not what you expected me to say. It's not what my husband expected me to say when I called him one random Tuesday morning in early January either. Though wonderful and amazing, this was completely unexpected and caught my husband and me totally off guard. Also, I have some other health problems that are complicating matters. The first trimester was . . . not fun.
But those days are behind me now and everyone assures me that I'm heading into the "good" trimester. After the hellishness of the last few months, I think I'll reserve judgment there but keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.
Now, some of you may have noticed a new widget in the sidebar on this site. (Obviously not those of you viewing this post through an RSS reader, but feel free to click through to the site itself if you're that curious.) Yes, I've added a lovely little ticking clock in the upper right.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Time's just slipping by.
I haven't been doing much writing lately. You may have noticed a distinct lack of Musings and Editorials and Selling Out posts. That's because neither the Muse nor the Inner Editor wanted to work around morning sickness (which lasts all freaking day and should really be named something else!) and the Idea Salesman wanted no part of the "chick stuff" I had going on and took off. I think he's gone to South America this time. Something about a misunderstanding with a groundhog and six more months of winter.
But I have to get back on track. Hopefully the Muse and Inner Editor will be more cooperative during the "good" trimester.
This is my first child and I haven't been around a baby on a regular basis since my sister was in diapers. My sister is now 25, so my memories of those days are a bit dim. I have no idea how this will change my life or affect my aspirations toward publication. Once the baby comes in September, I might have more creativity or I might have less. But I will most certainly have less time.
I want to spend the next six months finishing up the changes to Familiar and querying the heck out of it. I don't know where life is going to take me next, but I love these characters and this story. I really want to give this project everything I can. And I worry that if I wait, new baby needs will take precedence and Familiar will get shoved in a drawer somewhere.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Gotta run. This little deadline of mine will be kicking soon.
Here's the thing: I'm having a baby!
I know, not what you expected me to say. It's not what my husband expected me to say when I called him one random Tuesday morning in early January either. Though wonderful and amazing, this was completely unexpected and caught my husband and me totally off guard. Also, I have some other health problems that are complicating matters. The first trimester was . . . not fun.
But those days are behind me now and everyone assures me that I'm heading into the "good" trimester. After the hellishness of the last few months, I think I'll reserve judgment there but keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.
Now, some of you may have noticed a new widget in the sidebar on this site. (Obviously not those of you viewing this post through an RSS reader, but feel free to click through to the site itself if you're that curious.) Yes, I've added a lovely little ticking clock in the upper right.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Time's just slipping by.
I haven't been doing much writing lately. You may have noticed a distinct lack of Musings and Editorials and Selling Out posts. That's because neither the Muse nor the Inner Editor wanted to work around morning sickness (which lasts all freaking day and should really be named something else!) and the Idea Salesman wanted no part of the "chick stuff" I had going on and took off. I think he's gone to South America this time. Something about a misunderstanding with a groundhog and six more months of winter.
But I have to get back on track. Hopefully the Muse and Inner Editor will be more cooperative during the "good" trimester.
This is my first child and I haven't been around a baby on a regular basis since my sister was in diapers. My sister is now 25, so my memories of those days are a bit dim. I have no idea how this will change my life or affect my aspirations toward publication. Once the baby comes in September, I might have more creativity or I might have less. But I will most certainly have less time.
I want to spend the next six months finishing up the changes to Familiar and querying the heck out of it. I don't know where life is going to take me next, but I love these characters and this story. I really want to give this project everything I can. And I worry that if I wait, new baby needs will take precedence and Familiar will get shoved in a drawer somewhere.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Gotta run. This little deadline of mine will be kicking soon.
Free Fiction Friday
It's my turn for Free Fiction Friday over on the TriMu site and I'm giving away a copy of Twice Dead, by Kalayna Price. Head on over for your chance to win.
NOTE: Free Fiction Friday has no connectionto my own From My Bookshelf to Yours contest. Though Twice Dead is up for grabs in that one too. I have a couple of copies of this book . . .
NOTE: Free Fiction Friday has no connectionto my own From My Bookshelf to Yours contest. Though Twice Dead is up for grabs in that one too. I have a couple of copies of this book . . .
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